Rob came down last weekend, and we tried everything to get me to go into labor but it seemed like nothing was happening... until he left, of course. The minute he got home I started having contractions and he had to drive right back out to Breese. I got there around 9PM and I was at 4CM. I was asked if I wanted to start my epidural, and everything set in. I was about to give birth and be a mother.
I started to get really scared and nervous. I had so many thoughts running through my head. How bad is it going to hurt? Am I really cut out to be a mother when Blake gets here?
After what seemed like forever, and about 5 tries to get an i.v. in, (my arm is so bruised up!!) it was time for my epidural. The part that hurt the worse was the numbing medicine, then the epidural felt like a ton of pressure pushing down on me. I breathed through it and was so happy when it was over! I pretty much slept all night, and all day after that. Since I was so numb I couldn't stop myself from farting, so of course that was kind of embarrassing, lol. I let my mom, sister, and Rob be in the delivery room with me. The dr came in and checked me a couple of times, and I was finally 10CM. I had to wait to see if I felt any pressure until I started pushing. I couldn't feel anything still, so they turned my epidural off. That's when my contractions starting hurting really bad again. I put my legs up, waited for a bad contraction and started pushing. At first, it didn't seem so bad, but then I could barely take it anymore and I lost it. I started bawling out in pain saying I couldn't do it anymore. I felt like I was being tortured alive in front of a crowd. I was covered in sweat, tears, and blood. Literally. I couldn't breathe very well because of how hard I had to push so they tried to put an oxygen mask on me. It smelled so bad, that I threw it off and told them not to put it on me, lol. You could finally see Blakes hair, and then his head popped out! After a few more hard pushes, (she had to suction him out) out popped his shoulders then the rest of his body and he was placed on my stomach! I looked up at Rob and he had tears in his eyes as he cut the umbilical cord. It was one of the best moments I've ever experienced.
After he got cleaned up, we got moved into our room and visited with family the next couple of days. I was ready for them all to leave so I could enjoy my new family. Rob, Blake, and I spent a lot of quality time together while I was in the hospital and I kind of miss it. We had no worries in the world. I was released on Tuesday, and Rob had to go back to Mt. Vernon because he couldn't afford to miss anymore work. We hugged, and I cried. As much as I hate having to move to Mt. Vernon, I hate being apart from him more. I've never loved him so much in my life, and after what he's seen of me the past few days, I know he feels the same. He has saw me in ways I've never allowed anyone to see me.
So now we have our perfect little family, and the fun has just begun. The first night home was pretty rough though. I'm really surprised that I've been up all day and haven't felt dead tired. I can only hope that things get easier though. Changing a boy's diaper is not the easiest! Esp when he likes to pee on you, lol. The first couple of days his poop was like tar and so hard to wipe off! I'm glad that has changed now.
I'm pretty happy with my body right now, even though it's not where it was pre pregnancy. I know that it takes about 2 months for your uterus to go back to normal though, and my stretch marks aren't the prettiest. But if I could chose to go back and not have him so I wouldn't get stretch marks, I would of still done this. Words can't describe how happy I am.
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